Everyone needs some place – at least one place – that can
serve them as a little piece of heaven.
For me that place is a little 6’
x 8’ part of my study which is my prayer corner, although to be honest, it’s
actually morel like a tiny Orthodox Temple. It’s a place where I can weep for
my sins and rejoice in the gift of salvation which has been given, is being
given and finally on the Last Day will be received. That fact that I use these
words to describe the gift of salvation – been given (past tense), being given (present
tense), and will be received (future
tense) is not in any way to posit any weakness in God’s salvation. No, the
weakness is in me.
I am unable to receive the fullness
of the Gift of Salvation given in the Crucifixion, Resurrection and Ascension
of Christ my true God. I am not – not yet – strong enough, whole enough to
receive it and contain it, for it is all of heaven: union with Christ Himself. I remember hearing someone once remark, “We mortal men and women are like sieves: we
leak!” God pours forth His grace,
it sometimes it just flows right through me – seeming to make no difference at
all. Of course It does make a difference. It always does. But I am too weak, to
small-minded to perceive It, let alone fully receive It.
And so I need a little piece of
heaven to enlarge my mind and heart. It doesn’t have to be immense or
cathedral-like, just a little piece
of heaven. And in that little piece, surrounded by the saints and myriads of
angels, heaven gets a little piece of me. That’s how it seems most often to
work. A little piece at a time, the tiniest amount at times. And even when I
think I am giving an immensity of self, in those moments of prideful fantasy I
likely give over even less.
And this little piece of heaven
which I call my Prayer Corner – even this is more than I need although I love
it. You see, I cannot take this with me when I leave my home, when I go
shopping, when I go to classes. But even then, when I leave behind this little
piece of heaven in my study I have a little piece of heaven with me. So that as
I hold onto this little piece of heaven, Heaven Himself – our Master Christ –
holds on to me.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
